Altering Without Changing

Every person reaches a point in their lives when they feel like they've stopped. Ur feet feel as though they r encased in cement rendering u unable 2 move. This can drive even the sanest person crazy. One can feel their life is over without realizing it hasn't completely begun. Some make choices & can end up feeling like those choices r what the rest of their lives will b. I was 22 years old when these feelings began growing inside of me. My daughter was an infant, my relationship was unhealthy & I was beginning 2 lose my reflection. After the postpartum depression began 2 ease up I was flooded with the feeling that where my life was at that moment was where it would b forever. One part of me felt complete with the new role I had taken on as a mommy. The other part of me felt lost in a cloud of uncertainty. Those who knew me, naturally only viewing from the outside, would have thought it impossible 4 me 2 get lost. I grew up with a very loving, close family. I was raised with the belief that a family sticks together no matter what & was always there for one another.

There is this stereotype of people who lose their way. It is widely assumed that they have always struggled bc of a lack of stability growing up & for many that is the case. Then there r ppl like me. Here I was having grown up with a wonderful family, food in my stomach almost always & a constant roof over my head. How could some1 like me not b able 2c their way? How could some1 like me allow things 2 pull me away from the place where I was safe? The answer is that is doesn't matter what could do that, it only matters that it is possible. I was lost & I had absolutely no memory of who I was. I remembered as a child having a strong sense of the kind of person I wanted 2b & yet I couldn't remember the point where I'd lost that. Being lost can make ur mind so cloudy that u make choices u would normally never make. U lack all the things necessary 2 preventing u from walking the wrong way....caring, motivation, will power, strength....just a few of what was missing. I was clear on 1 thing, I was the only 1 I trusted 2 raise my daughter & that kept me from jumping off the edge.

Once I was able 2 go 2 a place where it was possible 4 me 2 let go of what was poisoning me I began 2c things so differently. I knew something had 2 change. The core of who I was, who I am & who I will b is always there even when I can't see it. What I needed was not 2 change myself but instead alter my approach 2 things. See, u don't have 2 stop being the person u r 2 make a better life 4 urself. All u really have 2 do is make the choices that will respect who u r & reinforce the strength behind it instead of trying 2 break it down. B brave enough 2 alter the way u live without changing who u r!

May u wake up each day with a thankful heart, appreciate those around u who luv u & never take a single breath 4 granted! Until we meet again :)